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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in thespokenwerd's LiveJournal:

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Friday, April 22nd, 2016
11:26 am
Dead musicians
Wow. First David Bowie and now Prince. If I were Brett Anderson I would be VERY nervous right about now.
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010
8:42 pm
I've just watched episode 7 of Caprica and I must say how much I'm enjoying it. It started a little weakly, but the last three episodes have really drawn me in. I'm wondering whether in the end we will find that the STO were responsible for mass producing the cylons to pursue their ideas of immortality?
Monday, December 29th, 2008
11:49 pm
Tomb Raider Underworld
So, I've been saving up this year for a Playstation 3.

Barm natters on about various stuff, with a brief mention of TRUCollapse )

In other news, is Jonjo in town? Jo bought me Hotel for Christmas and we should all play it! The rules are printed on the inside of the lid. What were the Jonjo Rules again? Compulsory Purchases, I think. Also, we have noticed that we're doing nothing for New Year's Eve. Would anybody like to come over here and help me mark a full year of having given up smoking by getting drunk and probably keeping Lexy awake? I've got the recharger for my dad's video camera, so I plan to put some more Lexy up soonish. Probably when he's got over his first cough, which he's currently not enjoying.
Thursday, November 20th, 2008
8:04 am
More Lexypics
Following a request for more pictures from a family member...

Lex on someone's lap
Lex in bed, trying his hardest to eat one of his toys
Mum, clearly in a better mood than Lex
One of those arty over-the-shoulder shots
Mum's first opportunity to be really unkind: writing "666" on Lex's forehead for Hallowe'en
My good self, with my two younger sons using my legs as chairs
Can you guess which of us had kept the other awake?
This was mum's second opportunity to be really unkind.
I think it was for a competition to win Take That tickets.
This was the day Lex first realised he had legs he could stand on
And this is the first time Lex stood unaided. That's a lie, my arm has been 'shopped out! Regarding this final picture: Tori Amos describes her fans as "Feet With Ears". She's obviously wrong, as this picture clearly demonstrates what feet with ears actually look like.
Saturday, October 11th, 2008
1:24 am
Take on Me: Literal Video Version
What's with all the old adverts? Watch this instead, it's far better.

I did try to embed this, but it didn't appear correctly. Ah well.
12:58 am
Lex likes Nick Drake
I find myself up very late at night, waiting for Lex to wake up for some milk. I'm giving Jo a chance to have a good few solid hours' sleep. I have concluded that Lex likes Nick Drake. I have decided this because he tends to stop crying when I put Nick Drake on for him. You can see proof of this. In this video he does very little, but he does it quietly. Later he went to sleep, and I thought that was picture worthy too. I must warn you, this is a most gratuitous and unnecessary baby pic post. Perhaps I should have said that first of all.
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008
12:01 pm
Baby was born at 7:38am this morning, weighing 7 pounds and 14 ounces. Jo's water broke at about 5 yesterday and she was in labour through the night. She managed the pain really well until about midnight, then demanded an epidural and got two (the first didn't work). Epidurals hamper the ability to "push", so baby was yanked out of Jo by forceps. He has marks on his face but I don't think he minds, and they'll be gone in a couple of days. He hasn't cried much but has shown himself to be an expert at breastfeeding.

I have photos!

Baby and me

Baby and mum

Tiny hand

I also have a brief video!

I must now find baby clothes, have a bath, hopefully get a bit of sleep, and be back at the hospital for 3pm when visiting hours start!

Oh yes. We have no idea what we're calling him yet.
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
9:01 pm
Glastonbury 2008 photos!
View from the top of the stone circle field. If you look really closely above the right hand tree near the centre of the picture, you can see the dragon in the next picture.
Here be dragons. Clearly not too fearsome dragons though, as somebody has climbed into its mouth and is doing a headstand.
Neil sleeps in a hanging chair. This was in the Avalon Cafe, in the Avalon field, next to the Avalon Inn and close to the Avalon stage. They like their Arthurian legend in these parts. The Avalon cafe sold reasonable coffee and tea at a quid a go, which is cheap by Glastonbury standards so we went there most mornings.
A boat with legs. This was in "Trash City". We visited trash city but once, on Friday morning.
This shows the worst of this year's mud. Again, Friday morning in trash city. Note the aeroplane fuselage.
Stick insect thing. Pogue and myself saw a far better stick insect thing in 2004, which moved.
Pogue. All these photos are in chronological order, and the Brothers bar in the background reveals this to be at the Jazz World stage. I can't remember what band he is watching with such intensity though.
Hobo Jones. Vin later bumped into this band outside the Avalon Cafe, while quite drunk, and insisted on hugging them.
The Ting Tings. I didn't get much closer than this. Ogling the lead singer was my intention, but I really couldn't be arsed with these crowds. It took me 10 minutes to advance 20 metres from this spot.
Vin. Looking quite pleased, probably quite drunk.
Pogue. Also looking quite pleased, as his favourite band the Hayseed Dixies are a matter of metres away from him.
Both Vin and Pogue. In case you suspected they might be the same person. Shakey was probably singing behind them at this point. That's the Pyramid stage, the main stage of the festival.
Aha! Shakey himself.
All four of us, miraculously in the same shot! I must explain that the camera I used had no viewfinder, and that the screen was broken. I'm quite impressed with the results.
All four of us again.
The banner was there to help me remember who was performing at the time. This chap had a three string guitar, and what he called a one-string guitar but was in fact a piece of wood with a guitar string nailed to it. Didn't stop him playing it though.
This is the tower near the Park stage. We joined the queue, then I wandered to the front of the queue and asked the chap there how long he had been waiting. He told us about 45 minutes. We stopped queueing and instead imagined how good the view might have been.
Herbie had a makeover.
Banjo Circus. Pogue inexplicably became convinced that we had to see this. Turned out to be a juggling banjo playing couple, and not as good as we hoped.
The sun came out! So I took a picture of it.
By Sunday, technology addicts were suffering from mobile phone withdrawal. I just turned my phone off, it seemed much easier than queueing.
Goblins. These were mildly entertaining for a good 30 seconds. The children who were there were enjoying them. They are people in costume, not statues.
Frank Olivier. This chap rode a very tall unicycle, played guitar and juggled burning torches, all at the same time. This was the best shot I got of him, which shows that it was actually quite hard to take photos without being able to see. Or maybe I was just drunk.
Sunday night, back in the Avalon tent. Yes, I think I must have been quite drunk really.
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
9:49 pm
In America
Hi all

I have been in the US for a week now. We have walked a bit of the way down Grand Canyon (South Kaibab Trail to Cedar Ridge) and various walks in Bryce (Navajo and Peekaboo loops one day, Swamp Canyon loop the next). We are now in Zion. I plan to walk to Angel's Landing tomorrow. Do a google image search for "walters wiggles" to see the path.

Peet, could you advise how I could quickly and easily convert mpg files to avi? Dad's camcorder records mpgs and they're far too big to upload anywhere!

OK, now it's dad's turn to use t'internet. See you later!
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
11:16 am
It's lunch time, and as I always do, I'm reading the Register while I eat my sandwich. I found this article about Scientology, which includes "drills", which is to achieve something or other I'm not really interested in. But one of the drills read as follows:

2) Note several large and small female bodies until you have a cognition. Note it down.

Now, it was one of the responses that really got me, which read:

I think I'm a Scientologist, by Anonymous Coward

Given that I'm always doing the drill of walking around noting females bodies. Sometimes I even get a cognition, if they're wearing a short skirt. Cognition is a euphemism right?
Friday, April 4th, 2008
11:02 pm
So, Jo's dad was over tonight and we got on to the subject of baby names. Alice or Murdoch rated highly for me. Jo now wants to call the baby Banana, and presumably teach it to sing "Venus" and "Cruel Summer". Banana Armitage indeed...
Tuesday, January 29th, 2008
8:56 am
We drove down to Southampton this weekend. While there I got drunk and fell on my arse thrice. However, this post is about a radio programme we listened to on Saturday lunchtime while we drove down. Research has revealed that the show is called Jammin', and can be listen agained here (English people only I suspect, so if you're from abroad you'll have to find a UK proxy to connect through). If you have half an hour free in the next couple of days please give this a listen. I would describe it as a cross between Whose Line Is It Anyway and Later With Jules Holland. The episode we listened to had Mel C in it, but please don't let that put you off!
Saturday, October 27th, 2007
8:55 am
7 habits/quirks/facts
7 habits/quirks/facts. Someone made me do it. See my friends page for details.

1. I have not shaved since the day I got married. Tweezers keep my face hair-free.
2. I have Vista Ultimate 64 installed on my PC but I'm thinking of going back to XP 64 because GetRight has a memory leak that apparently has been around for months and not fixed.
3. My wife is beautiful!
4. I had a go on SingStar recently and found I quite enjoyed it. I may be getting it for Christmas.
5. I talk in my sleep. I apparently say such things as "I'm gonna get me some re-fried beans. RE-FRIED BEANS!" in a bad American accent.
6. I built a wall earlier this year. I built it from wood and plasterboard, nails and glue, and paint and wallpaper. It shakes alarmingly when the fridge door knocks against it.
7. I'm looking forward to hiking the South Kaibab Trail with my dad in April.

I'm not going to make 7 people do this, because I suspect I don't even have seven friends on live journal. However, knova and brian can do it if they want.
Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
8:12 pm
Easier than e-mail or texting this is, plus other interested parties may give further info. Everybody should use live journal for ALL electronic communication.

Have you watched this yet? Is it any good? I just stumbled across it while surfing and am wondering whether it's worth the effort.
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
8:51 pm
Photographs of bits of Europe
Hey ho. Some photos of Europe. First, Cannes. Palm trees, expensive shops and 3 billion people all desperately hoping to see a celebrity.

Then, "Venice. A couple of pictures of boats from here. Also an alley. In my head, you go down here to the left, have to shoot a couple of dogs and people, then solve a puzzle to open a trapdoor and get a boat.

Florence next. It appears that they have such little space they have to resort to building houses on top of bridges. And the same bridge, but with some extra added drama.

In Florence we saw Tori Amos perform. She looked scary dressed as one of her American Doll Posses (reminds me of the scientist from Dick and Dom on Saturday morning. Sadly all the pictures of her dressed like this are very blurry. She looked marginally less scary after her costume change, but I'm not a fan of foolish looking wigs. Maybe she is now bald? Or so grey she can no longer dye it?

Rome. Colosseum. With fireman jumping off it to unfurl this banner. We went back later and there were neither banners nor firemen. I have no idea what this was about. The thing that struck me most about Rome is how much of the city centre is taken up by ruins. It's not a huge city centre like Paris or London, yet so much of it is thousands of years old and cordoned off. I found myself wondering whether Rome would benefit from a big earthquake to knock them all down. Probably not though, I imagine the city is fairly dependent on the tourist trade they generate.

We saw the Vatican, and the Sistine chapel. Only crappy pics of that, too. Hugely opulent. WAY over the top. I cannot put into words how wrong it is that such an organisation can literally preach about charity and generosity, yet have such a posh HQ. Oh, and here's some columns in St Peter's square.

We drove back via the Alps. Very impressive views. Probably a bit cold for walking up.

I'm thinking of getting a disposable camera, so you may expect a similar entry after Glastonbury!
Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
5:55 pm
Lavatories and DVDs
We took delivery of our bathroom suites this weekend. The living room is currently full of bathroom. However, we bought an entirely unsuitable lavatory and sink for the "cloakroom" (read: downstairs bog). The toilet was too long and the sink too big. I took them back today, and was relieved to get a full refund.

Then I nipped next door to PC World, as I have need of some dual layer DVDs. I knew they were still expensive, but PC world were selling a jewel-cased 5-pack for £25 - 5 pounds per disk? I may as well have BOUGHT the stuff I'm downloading! Then I spotted a 10 disk spindle for 8 quid, which looked too good to be true. Sure enough, at the checkout they asked £25, and I protested mildly. They checked the shelf-edge label and said I could have the disks at that price! So I grabbed a second pack. Thinking about it, I could probably have bought every pack on the shelf then e-bayed them for profit, but I'm too good a guy for that.

Actually, I've just checked e-bay and you can get dual layers even cheaper there. Still, I did PC World out of £34 so I can feel good about myself for that. Happy Barm.
Tuesday, May 29th, 2007
7:40 pm
Hello all, I'm in Florence and I have about 5 minutes left on this internet cafe thing.

So, we have seen Paris, Cannes, Venice and Florence, from where I am writing this. I have driven about 1700 miles and I am now tired. Our tent lets water in. It rained so far everywhere we went to except Cannes. We saw no famous people. Jo likes going in shops a lot. In Florence there are hundreds of bits of tat for sale featuring pictures of mens' willies from statues. Jo is very happy about this.

Shops like to charge a lot of money for drinks, because they know I'm thirsty. So I try to buy drinks from fast food outlets where it is a bit cheaper.

Tomorrow night Tori Amos is performing here in Florence, and Jo and myself will be going to see her. Her new album is less shit than the last one, although there are still shit bits in it.

I haven't seen who won the Formula 1 in Monaco yet, and you can tell me if you like because I won't be back on the internet until after I get back! The apostrophe key is in a stupid place here, I keep typing Iàm and then having to correct it.

We are also going to Rome to see the pope, or at least his house. Then weàre going to Geneva to see a lake, then weàre coming home. Iàve given up looking for the apostrophe key now.

Did I mention that itàs rained quite a lot_ Oh yes, I donàt know where the question mark key is either. Stupid keyboard.

Italians drive like loonies. I have adapted the phrase that begins "when in Rome", only now it goes "When in Italy, drive like a cunt". They have motorways that wind up the side of mountains, and signs indicating a limit of 80kmph, and they race up to these corners at 120kmph then hit the brakes. Of course, I had to join in.

My time is almost up, Iàd better submit this to ensure live journal will allow me to post the word cunt.

See you all later!
Sunday, January 21st, 2007
9:01 pm
Our New House
So, we got the keys to our house on Friday, and this weekend we have been doing a spot of DIY. Let me show you the living room (delightful stone fireplace!) and the kitchen of our new house. Between the two is a very fetching wall with a window in it.

Um, I mean WAS a very fetching etc etc. Use the radiator on the wall as a guide, as it's the same radiator as in the picture of the windowy wall. Notice also the absence of the stone fireplace (that black square on the wall next to Jo's dad's arse is where the chimney would have been if the fireplace hadn't been pointless in so many ways). See also the kitchen. It doesn't look anything like that now - the wood is all gone, as are the remnants of linoleum and tile, and the plumbing looks more precarious.
Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
6:39 pm
What to watch?
With the gradual return to normal television scheduling in the US, the thought has come to mind that in a few months new shows will virtually dry up (apart from Dr Who and maybe the 4400). So I have been wondering what older shows are out there that perhaps both Barm and Jo will like? We currently follow House, Lost, Jericho, Studio 60, Heroes and My Name Is Earl among others. Does anyone have any recommendations? People at work have been mentioning Veronica Mars and 24 which is a possibility, but what I'd really like is something as compelling as Jeremiah was, or Battlestar currently is to me.
Thursday, October 19th, 2006
4:54 pm
I'm not dead!
Merely resting.

Actually, that's quite untrue. When we got back from the US, I found my computer not to be working, it would crash soon after loading Windows. Having pressing matters to attend to (like seeing what had happened on the internet in the weeks we had been away) I brought Jo's computer downstairs to serve as the living room computer. A couple of days later I swapped my hard drive and graphics card into Jo's PC so we could watch stuff on the telly and I could get to my useful files. Then I had to fix Ian's PC, which took AGES!

Now though, my PC is back in its rightful place! All I did was vacuum the insides (including under the mounting for the CPU fan where I had never previously vaccuumed) and stopped peerguardian running, and it still crashes every once in a while but I can get to my bookmarks again! All the random sites I visit when I get home from work are once again accessible, and this is one of them!

So, yesterday I took the wife up to my brother's house. They have kittens. Three of them. And they had never seen a bit of balled up paper before. So much fun was had cavorting with kittens. Next time I'll take Jo's camcorder and record their entertaining antics. We played Mario Party 7 and I whupped ass.

Jo and myself are going to buy a house. We're taking Will with us, because I think Jo thinks he's like a pet. Or she wants money to pay a mortgage, I'm not sure which. We looked at a house on Tuesday, but it was really nice so I don't think we should get it.

We're following Jericho and Studio 60. Say if a nuclear bomb was detonated, and people are dying of radiation sickness, surely the flora would do the same? Still, I want to know who bombed the US and why, so we're sticking with Jericho for now. Why do all post-apocalyptic tv shows begin with a J? Jericho AND Jeremiah. I defy anyone to find an exception to this clearly correct true tv-show-rule. Studio 60 is entertaining enough, but I'm not giving it attention of the same order that BSG is due.

Right, TOCA 3 is calling and I have 30 minutes before I have to pick Jo up. Bye!
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